When a Saboteur Enters our Relationships

I let him go. I had never been loved this much by anyone in my life, and yet I let him go. I had no choice. My nervous system was having a way harder time than I desired, and the longer we were together, the less relaxed I felt about our relationship. Was it me? Was this then the final conclusion I’m not suited for non-monogamy or any way of relating for that matter? Was I an overly dramatic woman unable to deal with anxiety issues? Was it him? Was he lacking in stepping up? Did he need to grow balls and become a real man, able to love a wild woman? It’s Always Two Playing that Game When it…

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The Deeper We Love, the Deeper Love Will Touch Us

The deeper we love, the deeper love will touch us. It is as incredible as it sounds, though not always easy. As love tears down everything in its way to loving more, all our deepest stories, pain, fear and insecurity is revealed in the wake of unleashing bliss. And not just our own! All that which our ancestors carry, what’s engraved in our collective past and present, It’s all right here, right now. So beware, when you open your heart wider than before, That more love than you can imagine will pour in, And your senses sensitize As there’s no right or wrong, desired or undesired on our inner landscape, just simple aliveness, It all becomes stronger. More. Deeper. Become…

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Can Relationships be Fluid?

I want more sex in my relationship – now what?

Although there are several shapes of relationships (marriage, dating, polyamory, polygamy) they still seem to be holding on to a fixed construct. Does that make sense, as we are ever-evolving and growing? And: a personal relationship update.

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: What To Do When My Partner Is Avoidant / Afraid of Commitment?

today I choose to live

In any human dynamic, certain patterns will come up. And those patterns will influence how you feel and how you act. It’s a thing: people with a fear of abandonment attract people with a fear of commitment. This is the anxious/avoidant dynamic we sometimes speak about. Is it possible to avoid this trap, or heal it when we’re in it?

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Where do I Base My Boundaries On?

David & Wilrieke

In any human dynamic, certain patterns will come up. And those patterns will influence how you feel and how you act. Where do you base your boundaries and desires upon? And what to do when yours are different than those of your partner?

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(Video) Conscious Relationship Design: Feeling Safe

Feeling safe

Being real about relating: sharing openly about my relationship with David, the patterns, the pitfalls, the victories. We all want to feel safe. But do you actually know when you feel safe? And when there are many voices/characters in your head: who’s right? What’s true? #exploringdeeper #openrelationship #nonmonogamy #polyamory#shiftingshit #droppingstories #yesandmoreplease

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(Video) I don’t always like my open relationship. And why am I more afraid than my partner?

Open relationships

David and I have an open relationship. For us, that means we are choosing to be primary partners, like in any ‘normal’ relationship. Besides that, we give each other full freedom to openly explore intimacy with others. I’m one of those persons who doesn’t find this just easy. Sometimes I don’t like being in an open relationship at all, but admitting that to myself feels difficult. And how can it feel that I feel like having different boundaries about a certain thing at the same time? How to deal with the insecurity? And why do some people find open relating more difficult than others (and why is it often so that one partner feels more challenged than the other)? These are…

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Why I like Kink and BDSM

Why I like Kink

When I tell people I’m a fan of kink or BDSM, there are usually three possible responses. Many people have no idea what I’m talking about. Others wonder why someone on the path of personal growth would be interested in something abusive and violent as BDSM. And then there are some who understand and are happy to find someone who agrees. Thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey and the many erotic novels that followed in its wake, BDSM – or the SM part of it, has become more mainstream as a flavor in the bedroom. But the picture these stories sketch a very limited, and in my opinion unhealthy, picture of this erotic art form. So what is it that…

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