Kambo – My Journey with the Frog (part 2)

Kambo frog

You can read about my First Journey with the Frog in this article. The longing to travel again with Kambo resided lingering in the back of my mind. But my horse died, my business asked a lot and there was a lot in general to deal with. Until two friends I have known for years and who had been involved in shamanic ceremonies for ages, invited me for a Kambo ceremony at their place. At cycling distance from my little house in the forest. On a sunny Sunday where my agenda was wide open and empty. Spontaneously I decided to join. The thing with entheogens like Kambo or Ayahuasca is that you always get what you need, not necessarily what …

Continue reading

Kambo – My Journey with the Frog (part 1)

Kambo frog

My first encounter with Kambo was some months ago. I was having dark days. It was a time of big changes and I felt the call to cleanse my body and soul with more than lemon water and meditation. The relationship I had with the father of my kids ended after nine years. Connections I had with other men disappeared one by one – the cleansing apparently started there already. My focus shifted from a focus on social interactions to finding a new balance as a single mother and upgrading my business. And processing all the things that happened. What does a shaman look like? I was expecting an older, tanned man with black hair. Speaking some kind of Spanish …

Continue reading

The Noble Art of Surrender

Unconditional self love

I think the most beautiful form of art that we can master, is the art of surrender. Of letting go of resistance and accepting circumstances and inner movement on a deep level. We might not always be able to choose the events happening in our lives. But we can choose how to deal with them. Even in the most painful moments beauty is to be found. The heart cracking open, time after time. Love isn’t the only key to your heart. Sadness, grief, despair and bliss are keys too. And when you notice they all open the same doors, that only resistance is the gate-keeper with armor and an angry face, then you can kindly ask resistance to step aside …

Continue reading

Poem #17: It’s Okay – Today

Hey love, It’s okay – today. While the tears wash clean your face And your smile breaks open your heart Realize. There’s nothing you haven’t done Or have to do That got you – right here. Believe. While sometimes everything seems to crumble Or falls apart Again – Contemplate. It’s not the end, and even if it is It’s just the end We all get there someday Right? But until then and only then This is the live that we create, that we choose Ourselves. And it’s okay – today and tomorrow and then again When the sun comes up Remember. It’s all you and it has nothing to do with you Life living itself and we Passengers. Swimming against …

Continue reading

Prayer to the Younger One

Prayer to the Young One

By the time you find love, you may have grown old and grey, and you might look back at your life, wanting you realized so much earlier, when your hair was still bright with color, that the quests for love that you’ve undertaken were fruitless from the beginning. You might wish you could regain all the time, frustration, sorrow and resources you spent on finding love, for now you now it was all wasted. You might wish you wouldn’t have pushed so hard, ran so fast, or believed that there would always be something ‘better’. Better than what? You might wish you’ve had a different life. Breathing a bit more deeply. Enjoying a bit more fully. Experiencing all the sensations …

Continue reading

Freedom is not in saving others


You can’t make anyone grow. You can’t even make yourself grow. The only thing you can really do is opening your heart. To all the pain, the intensity of life, the heartbreak, the sorrow and the thunder. To the joy, the laughter, the bliss and the ecstasy. You can never force life to bend. It will break. Life can only flow. Life is a current, and you can either swim against, or swim with it. It doesn’t mean you should float. Being passive isn’t going to bring you anywhere, just as only observing your feelings isn’t going to bring you anywhere. Invite. Allow. Join. The deepest thing you can reach is freedom. A free heart without conditionings and programs. You …

Continue reading

This Elusive Now

This elusive now

There are so many moments which are not now, and just this fraction of time ‘now’. Gone as soon as you realize it’s here. And in this continuum of now’s, passing by so swiftly, in the same time so much is happening! The whole world is happening within it. It’s tangible, yet elusive. Sometimes my thoughts drift away and it feels I missed a whole bunch of now’s. Sometimes so many people are expectant, disappointed, hopeful or happy in my presence that the now we share seems endless. Sometimes I feel there aren’t enough moments of now, and sometimes I can’t wait until the moments between me and a moment in the future have passed. Maybe it’s the only thing …

Continue reading

Can I have Slow Sex Please? – Four Important Insights I gained in Tantra

Can I have Slow Sex Please?

There is wine that you buy, just to buy wine. You quickly glance over the bottles and end up with a 5 liter box of cheap Merlot. Nothing wrong with that. The next time you spend even less time, heading for the same Merlot right away. You liked it last time, didn’t you? Sex can be like that Merlot, or like a slowly ripened, full bodied affair. Nothing wrong with a quickie, but there is so much more than the fast-and-easy fix for releasing tension, frustration or just that urge for a moment of sensory high. I like Slow Sex. These are some lessons I learned from practicing Tantra. I like diversity and exploration I like Merlot. But I also …

Continue reading

The Ritual Cacao Ceremony

Cacao ceremony

Who doesn’t love chocolate? The combination of cacao, dance and a mind-expanding experience must be one of the most luscious things I can think of. I also love how plants and other natural substances can give us insights that we usually can’t reach. I call them imprints: once you felt them, you will always be able to reconnect to a certain feeling and apply it in new situations. I never tried ritual doses of theobromine, the active compound of chocolate. Raw cacao in ritual doses is celebrated for its capacities to open hearts and supports transformation through self-love. Raw cacao is also a powerful antioxidant, enhances the immune system, lowers the risk of heart disease, lowers high cholesterol and blood …

Continue reading

Your life = your experience (and not the general truth)

It's your experience

When we advice, teach or even preach to others, it’s easy to be convinced of our perspective on things. But don’t forget that everything you share comes from your experience, from how you’ve lived your life. And this may or may not resonate with someone else. Maybe you can have a little part of you be the observer, when someone asks you for advice. An observer that reminds you that all you say is not the general truth, but simply your experience of what does and doesn’t work for you in your life. But, of course, that’s my experience 😉 [youtube=https://youtu.be/YmpLdrBUID8]