The emotional and spiritual benefits of deepthroating

Deepthroating

She looked up at the man standing in front of her. His eyes were filled with predator-like desire. She allowed her eyes to linger over his bare chest, following the trail of dark hairs from his belly button into his jeans. With a strong hand under her chin he lifted her head, locked her eyes with his gaze. Without losing eye-contact, he slowly unbuttoned his fly with his other hand. She could feel the heat coming from his groins, as she sat on her knees only centimeters away from his cock. He lowered his pants slowly until his cock sprung out, touching her lips. “Open your mouth”, he said. She licked her lips, lubricating her mouth as she was well …

Continue reading

The Problems of a Career based on a Life Purpose

Not so long ago we didn’t have many options when it came to having a career. I guess the word ‘career’ itself wasn’t very well-known. Career. Boys just became what their father was or were sent to a master to learn a craft. Girls found a caring position, either as mother or servant. There were not too many options and although I guess enough people were unhappy with their fate, you did what you had to do. The Shift: Choosing from the Mind Things changed. Education became more widely available. Social classes became less visible and education was open for everyone, until the son of the doctor sat next to the son of the butcher. And then women were also …

Continue reading

Can I be polyamorous and single?

Polyamorous and single

Of course you can. Or at least that’s my opinion. Probably there will be bunches of people no agreeing with me there. And there are many nuances probably. To be able to answer this question for yourself in more than four words, you would have to figure out what polyamory is for you. Is polyamory a sexual orientation? If polyamory is a sexual orientation, just as being gay is considered a sexual orientation, than yes, you can say you are polyamorous, no matter what your relationship status is. Whether you are single, have one lover or a whole harem, you will always be polyamorous. Is polyamory a relationship form? To me, this approach is completely valid, especially if you feel …

Continue reading

Ending a long-term relationship – 30 days later

Ending a long term relationship – 30 days later

Today it is exactly one month ago that my partner and I decided to break up. We were in a temporary break for two months, after a relationship of almost nine years, including three kids. As the relationship wasn’t serving either of us anymore, we decided to break up. A delicate process of unraveling a lot of patterns, dependencies, projections and assumptions. And not just between my now ex-partner and I, but also between the outer world and I. Patterns in reactions I guess a similar thing happens in all major events in a human life. When a baby is born, when someone has a cold or when a relative dies, we always ask the same questions, or come up …

Continue reading

Did polyamory kill my relationship?

Did polyamory kill my relationship?

We were the perfect open-relationship-couple for years, being featured on television shows, in magazines and interviews. We proclaimed that jealousy is a teacher on the way, that fear is nothing to be afraid of and that the more people we love, the more love flows. We broke up. And now questions are formed that can be summarized in this question: is this break up proof that non-monogamy doesn’t work? No. I ask you: does a divorce mean that marriage doesn’t work? No. Of course not. The single reason for this break up is that this relationship was doomed from the beginning. Alternative lifestyle shaming When people are living an alternative lifestyle, it’s easy to blame everything that goes wrong on …

Continue reading

Taking responsibility vs. taking things too personally

Taking responsibility

When you look into a mirror, do you blame the mirror if you don’t like what you see? When you look at a person, do you blame them for how you feel? It’s easy to point a finger to someone else when your reality doesn’t please you. But is it them? Did they cause how you’re feeling? Or were they merely a trigger to something much bigger, something totally unrelated to this moment and this person? It’s an amazing trait to be able to take responsibility for one’s own feelings. To own the traumas and pain that is being touched in the current moment. To even be thankful for the person connecting you to this again and for being a …

Continue reading

Why I don’t try to get rid of neediness, fear or insecurity.

Why I try not to get rid of neediness, fear or insecurity. And why you shouldn't too.

And why you shouldn’t too. When I am going through processes of growth, some days are better than others. On good days it’s often not so difficult to love myself. But when days are tougher, and I feel a longing for connection with, or approval from others. I feel needy, afraid and insecure. On top of that i feel judgment: i shouldn’t feel like this. i should be beyond this, I’ve dealt with this. I want to get rid of what I feel. That’s the most counterproductive strategy of dealing with what is going on inside me. I this video I share, on a tough day, how I deal with myself.

Mirrors versus Movie Screens: Do you reflect or project?

Mirrors versus Movie Screens

The people around us are our mirrors: they show us where we are in our stage of personal evolution. It’s something we hear all the time. But I notice that people, me included, tend to use others rather as movie screens onto which we project our reality, instead of looking into the mirror. When someone triggers us It’s easy to see someone as our mirror when that mirror shows us something nice. It can be amazingly uplifting when someone I admire wants to spend time with me. Although it touches upon my insecurity sometimes (‘Why would this person want to spend time with me?’) it is hard to stick to negative thinking too long. I must be nice to be …

Continue reading

Freedom is not in saving others

Freedom

You can’t make anyone grow. You can’t even make yourself grow. The only thing you can really do is opening your heart. To all the pain, the intensity of life, the heartbreak, the sorrow and the thunder. To the joy, the laughter, the bliss and the ecstasy. You can never force life to bend. It will break. Life can only flow. Life is a current, and you can either swim against, or swim with it. It doesn’t mean you should float. Being passive isn’t going to bring you anywhere, just as only observing your feelings isn’t going to bring you anywhere. Invite. Allow. Join. The deepest thing you can reach is freedom. A free heart without conditionings and programs. You …

Continue reading

How to attract amazing people into your life – three key factors

How to attract amazing people into your life – three key factors

Lately I have been feeling very grateful for the amazing people in my life. I work with some of the most inspiring teachers on this planet. I date gorgeous, talented men and women. I have awesome friends who love the same things as I do, like cuddling for hours, having deep conversations or singing mantras and making music. Even most of the people I randomly meet in the streets are wonderful and amazing. Random encounters turn into deep connections that last seconds or months. It hasn’t always been like that. On the contrary. For years I felt like I didn’t belong. The outcast that nobody understood or actually really liked. But also more recently I had lovers who weren’t honest …

Continue reading