What I learned in the year after breaking up my long-term relationship

What I learned in the year after breaking up my long-term relationship

Once we thought we would stay together for life. And in a way, we will, since we have three daughters. But not in a romantic relationship. About twelve months ago we broke up. It felt like facing my deepest fears. It felt like dying. And maybe I did in a way, as the last year transformed me completely. No more happily ever after We were so convinced we were going to make it through life together. Even though I got pregnant only months after we met, we hardly had any money, and I didn’t finish studying. I never had a long-term relationship before. I never was pregnant before. It all felt so new. He was my rock to depend on.…

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Does this process of personal growth make my life easier?

Personal Growth

So, does this life of investing in personal growth, facing fears, embracing all emotions, letting go of insecurities and things in general and all of that make me a happier person? No. Not in the general accepted sense of the word. Does it make my life easier then? Neither. Lots of people define the quality of their life by the amount of happines and joy they perceive. But that would be accepting only part of the spectrum. You want something, but you actually only want half of it. It’s like wanting to go on holiday and only accepting the days that the sun shines, and cursing when it rains. It’s like wanting pizza and cursing the crust. All the processes…

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We are not our fears

We are not our fears

This morning I received a message from my friend. My horse’s rug hung to the side, and I’d probably better go there to put it back. When I arrived, I saw Jade in the middle of the pasture, calmly standing with a completely demolished rug, hanging heavily on his neck. A horse is an animal of flight. A prey animal. When they lived wildly on the planes, cougars and wolves attacked them by jumping on their necks, biting them, paralyzing them, disabling them from running. And killing them. There he was, Jade, the king of the herd. Standing calmly while his rug was in that very vulnerable place, biting his neck. He didn’t panick. He didn’t run. As soon as…

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