Learning About Intimacy, Impressions of a Coach #1

* These writings are based on impressions from different sessions and different people. Facts about people are changed for the sake of privacy. I share these writings to create awareness of loneliness and how many of us struggle with intimacy. You are not alone. * You came to me because you had been hurt for many years. Your heart was closed and you couldn’t feel. How would you be able to relate to women again? To be vulnerable and be naked, to have sex again? As a boy you walked through the door, not knowing what to expect. We talked. I shared about my life and how I had been hurt in the past too. You relaxed, knowing you are…

Continue reading

These Wings Won’t Fit in a Cocoon Anymore

Don't push me back

And then she said: “I could be insecure again. Like a caterpillar who broke its cocoon to unfold its wings, too afraid to take its space and be carried by the sky, that tries to get back in again. I tried that. But these wings won’t fit in that cocoon anymore unless I’d break them. There’s no other option but to let the air, the sun, the earth and the rain touch me and tease me, test my resilience to come back again. To dry, shake off, breathe and fly again. And I don’t need you – or anyone – to tell me to become a caterpillar again, nor to fly faster than when my wings have dried. I don’t…

Continue reading

Bridging the Gap between Masculine and Feminine in Relationships

Bridging the Gap between Masculine and Feminine in Relationships

In Tantra, we often speak about the different poles called feminine and masculine. The feminine desires to be loved, to be held by a strong masculine. The feminine loves to be opened, ravished into bliss and wanted. The feminine also loves to feel safe. To feel filled, as there is always a certain emptiness inside that creates a desire to be filled up that can overtake anything else. The masculine desires freedom. To not be trapped, but to journey towards the horizon, guided by a sense of purpose in life. There’s a goal, a direction and not even love can or should take the masculine away from this. Everyone and anything that takes away the sense of freedom for the…

Continue reading

Relating Beyond Paradigms #4: Is This Really Impossible?

Impossible Relationships

When I met David some months ago (with a month being a lifetime) and we decided to step into a relationship, some of my dear friends mirrored to me that he seemed amazing, but that the relationship between us could never work. Him being a nomad wanting the experience of fatherhood, living in a community south of the equator and traveling a large chunk of the year, and even if he wouldn’t, he would still be far away. I being a mum with three kids in a weekly co-parenting schedule with a job that is a mission directly from my heart, and that requires my presence when I’m not with my kids. And I felt it too. Each time my…

Continue reading

The Orgasm of Inspiration

Inspiration is like a long, gentle orgasm, moving through me as I create._

Can I be lusciously written? Can I consciously allow myself to tap into a divine source of inspiration, of wisdom flowing through me just by opening the faucet? Can I be that vessel, that portal, upon my own request? Or is this spring of information ever present? The internal wisdom of collective memory that we can all tune into? Or maybe we are tuned in, but forgot or switched ourselves of through our busy busy lives? There’s this magic feeling that comes over me every now and then. It tingles my skin, as the touch of a lover can do. The slightest suggestion of a caress, that makes my blood rush. It’s an urge to create. As the water reservoir…

Continue reading

Slowing Down

Slowing down

I always tell it to my students and clients: to slow down. Because slowing down means giving time and space to underlying feelings and processes. Emotions and sensations that we usually skip because we’re in our heads, in a hurry, or just somewhere at the desired or undesired end goal. We’re in the future or past, but not present with our precious self – right now. And then when we slow down, we start to feel stuff. Uncomfortable probably. Are we here, yet again? It’s such a temptation to go faster again. To move through this discomfort with a swift pace. We might reach comfy grounds again, but did we shift anything? Learned anything? Let go of anything? Then I…

Continue reading

Pause. Breathe. Listen to Your Belly

It’s so easy to get caught up in all that you have to do Or distraction Fear of missing out Waiting until your message has been read Anxiety when no answer comes   Breathe Just for a moment, put your hand on your belly Relax the muscles underneath your hand Breathe again   Although the head and mind often take charge with stories about the past and future It’s the belly where emotions are stored created   When you learn to listen carefully and it takes practice But when you do You will get to know yourself in a different way   All those subtle flavors and deep knowing wisdom that is simply us Comes from there Not from the…

Continue reading

Relating Beyond Paradigms #3: Dealing with Triggers (video)

What do you need love?

When relating is a way of growth, a conscious choice to explore deeper, triggers are bound to come and everything you tried to escape will come up… My days of dealing with intense emotions and fear, learning to express desires and boundaries. Do you want to explore deeper into your personal process of creativity, intimacy, love, and relationships? Book an (online or offline) individual session with me – also for business inspiration and finding where you feel stuck, and how to move beyond that. Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know about new projects and read unpublished material, and check my calendar for upcoming events in Europe! Please follow and like us:

Continue reading

Relating Beyond Paradigms #1: New Beginnings

Tribe within a Tribe

Your eyes find someone you like on Facebook, Tinder or, in an old-fashioned way, in a bar or a birthday from a common friend. A reaction in your body. What would it be like with this person? Would they like me? You start a conversation, ask about each other’s lives, occupations, and favorite music. When the answers feel good, you might talk more. Relax a little, exchange a smile. You might start moving in closer. Touching. Maybe you end up in one of your houses for a night of exploration, or maybe you take it slower. Getting to know each other better before sex happens. You move into a relationship. Gradually you get to know each other’s hopes, dreams, and…

Continue reading

Magic is Real and We Can Create it All the Time

We can create magic

Our imagination is so limited by the cage of conditioning. We all create beliefs about how we should live, relate, behave, work, parent or look – beyond what we realize. We limit our magic with our own thoughts. And our thoughts are the key to freedom as well. Our thoughts that are created by our belief systems and our emotions. But are they real? Is there anything we cannot create? What if we are powerful beyond imagination and indeed, capable to create magic? Magic is in big things and in small things. It exists, but only when we believe. I spent the last days in Paris, with my beloved. A relationship that from just the mind is pretty challenging to make…

Continue reading