I’m an Intimacy Coach (and Society calls me a Sex Worker)

I'm an intimacy coach

Society calls me a s*x worker. And that’s okay, although what I bring is not just that. I don’t f€ck my clients. I don’t even kiss them. But I’m very intimate with them. For some of them it’s the first time in years. Sometimes the first time ever. They teach me… They teach me about the innocence of desire. The longing to connect sincerely. They also teach me how they suppress their fire, their desire to ravish. How insecure they often feel about their body and their genital area. I teach them… That it’s all okay. That their insecurity as well as their list is part of their humanness. That I love to feel their lust and desire within the…

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Relating Beyond Paradigms #3: Dealing with Triggers (video)

What do you need love?

When relating is a way of growth, a conscious choice to explore deeper, triggers are bound to come and everything you tried to escape will come up… My days of dealing with intense emotions and fear, learning to express desires and boundaries. Do you want to explore deeper into your personal process of creativity, intimacy, love, and relationships? Book an (online or offline) individual session with me – also for business inspiration and finding where you feel stuck, and how to move beyond that. Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know about new projects and read unpublished material, and check my calendar for upcoming events in Europe! Please follow and like us:

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Relating Beyond Paradigms #1: New Beginnings

Tribe within a Tribe

Your eyes find someone you like on Facebook, Tinder or, in an old-fashioned way, in a bar or a birthday from a common friend. A reaction in your body. What would it be like with this person? Would they like me? You start a conversation, ask about each other’s lives, occupations, and favorite music. When the answers feel good, you might talk more. Relax a little, exchange a smile. You might start moving in closer. Touching. Maybe you end up in one of your houses for a night of exploration, or maybe you take it slower. Getting to know each other better before sex happens. You move into a relationship. Gradually you get to know each other’s hopes, dreams, and…

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How Deep can You go Before Breakfast?

How deep can you go before breakfast?

Spending some beautiful days in Copenhagen with my beloved. Coincidentally we appeared to have planned time in the same city, already before we met. A rare thing in a fresh, long-distance relationship. Spending days together feels precious. There are many more days where we don’t see each other, have at least a country between us. So I want to not take it for granted. Appreciate the time and savor it. Once I made the choice to live true to my heart. Follow my passion. More recently I made the choice to share my truth, even if means facing the fear of chasing someone away. This morning fear and sadness came up. My oldest and deepest wounds were touched while waking up in…

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It’s Alright to Feel Overwhelmed, Confused and Heart Broken

Baby it's alright

Sometimes it is just there. The not-knowing, the confusion, the overwhelm and the heart break.   It’s alright, baby. Nothing to fix or heal. Nothing to push away or avoid.   You know, we cannot always be the strong and certain about each step to take. There’s no game we have to play, no mask we should put on. We can be real. Even when that includes tears streaming down your cheeks, leaving black traces of your earlier carefully applied mascara. Let the image people have of you, and maybe more the one you have of yourself, crumble. You’re not here to fit a mold, to keep up appearances.   The invitation that your soul and heart brought along is…

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Owning Fear

Owning Fear

When you fear something, it can be tempting not to deal with it by yourself, i.e. to ‘leak’ fear onto others. When we talk about what scares us, do we actually cry for help? Are we leaning onto another, hoping they are a hero, saving us from despair? Maybe we seek recognition for our feelings. Whatever it is we do, we depend on others to get away from our fears. But there’s an invitation. An invitation to embrace fear and keep it. Not to hold it tight forever, but to take responsibility for our fears, to deal with them within ourselves, standing on our own legs. Does that mean we cannot ask for support, safety or empathy? No, we can.…

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Does this process of personal growth make my life easier?

Personal Growth

So, does this life of investing in personal growth, facing fears, embracing all emotions, letting go of insecurities and things in general and all of that make me a happier person? No. Not in the general accepted sense of the word. Does it make my life easier then? Neither. Lots of people define the quality of their life by the amount of happines and joy they perceive. But that would be accepting only part of the spectrum. You want something, but you actually only want half of it. It’s like wanting to go on holiday and only accepting the days that the sun shines, and cursing when it rains. It’s like wanting pizza and cursing the crust. All the processes…

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Post break-up: are all my problems solved now?

Emotions after a break-up

I really believed that a break-up would be like a magical point in time where everything would be different after it. Partly that appeared to be true. All the immense fears that I thought I would have to face, didn’t raise their heads. On the contrary: I encountered a deep foundation of inner trust and self-love. On the other hand, the break-up didn’t change a lot of things. There are still the same patterns between me and him. Maybe they are even stronger, as there is nothing to save anymore. And yes, after living in one house for nine years, being single gets lonely sometimes…   Please follow and like us:

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Did polyamory kill my relationship?

Did polyamory kill my relationship?

We were the perfect open-relationship-couple for years, being featured on television shows, in magazines and interviews. We proclaimed that jealousy is a teacher on the way, that fear is nothing to be afraid of and that the more people we love, the more love flows. We broke up. And now questions are formed that can be summarized in this question: is this break up proof that non-monogamy doesn’t work? No. I ask you: does a divorce mean that marriage doesn’t work? No. Of course not. The single reason for this break up is that this relationship was doomed from the beginning. Alternative lifestyle shaming When people are living an alternative lifestyle, it’s easy to blame everything that goes wrong on…

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