(Video) My Open Relationship: Feeling Safe

Feeling safe

Being real about relating: sharing openly about my relationship with David, the patterns, the pitfalls, the victories. We all want to feel safe. But do you actually know when you feel safe? And when there are many voices/characters in your head: who’s right? What’s true? #exploringdeeper #openrelationship #nonmonogamy #polyamory#shiftingshit #droppingstories #yesandmoreplease Please follow and like us:

Continue reading

(Video) I don’t always like my open relationship. And why am I more afraid than my partner?

Open relationships

David and I have an open relationship. For us, that means we are choosing to be primary partners, like in any ‘normal’ relationship. Besides that, we give each other full freedom to openly explore intimacy with others. I’m one of those persons who doesn’t find this just easy. Sometimes I don’t like being in an open relationship at all, but admitting that to myself feels difficult. And how can it feel that I feel like having different boundaries about a certain thing at the same time? How to deal with the insecurity? And why do some people find open relating more difficult than others (and why is it often so that one partner feels more challenged than the other)? These are…

Continue reading

Relating Beyond Paradigms #5: Different Ways in Which we Love Each Other (video)

What if you express your love to your partner(s), and they feel attacked or frustrated? We have different ways of expressing love to others, and without realizing this, your attempts to come closer might draw you further away from each other. David and I share about our processes of loving each other and getting to know each other’s love language.   Please follow and like us:

Continue reading

(Video) Two Women Talking about (Open) Relating #1

Wilrieke & May

My dear friend May Rompas and I love to share with each other about our relationships. And as we do that anyway, we thought you might like to be a fly on the wall and listen to our conversations. Here’s the first talk we share, where we talk about what our relationships look like, and how we deal with feelings of insecurity and fear.   Please follow and like us:

Continue reading

Relating Beyond Paradigms #2: The Meaning of Courage (video)

Relating Beyond Paradigms - Courage

About the courage of relating beyond paradigms, as David and I say goodbye for a month. We are sharing some of the tools we are using for creating this relationship. Do you want to explore deeper into your personal process of creativity, intimacy, love, and relationships? Book an (online or offline) individual session with me – also for business inspiration and finding where you feel stuck, and how to move beyond that. Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to know about new projects and read unpublished material, and check my calendar for upcoming events in Europe! Please follow and like us:

Continue reading

What is Emotional Availability Anyway? (video)

The false belief that women don’t like sex (and the ones who do are scary)

In my last article, I spoke about being tired of attracting emotionally unavailable men. I received many questions about the topic. What do I want from men? Is it all his fault? And most of all: what does it mean, to be emotionally available of unavailable? To me, emotional unavailability is not, like, a judgment towards this particular man (and men before him). But a mismatch in what our desires are when it comes to emotional/physical/etc availability. And that mismatch, because I wanted more than he, felt like a lack/unavailability to me. What I want to say, is that the amount of availability we all need differs and that it can feel like unavailability to the one with the larger desire…

Continue reading

Post break-up: are all my problems solved now?

Emotions after a break-up

I really believed that a break-up would be like a magical point in time where everything would be different after it. Partly that appeared to be true. All the immense fears that I thought I would have to face, didn’t raise their heads. On the contrary: I encountered a deep foundation of inner trust and self-love. On the other hand, the break-up didn’t change a lot of things. There are still the same patterns between me and him. Maybe they are even stronger, as there is nothing to save anymore. And yes, after living in one house for nine years, being single gets lonely sometimes…   Please follow and like us:

Continue reading

Why I don’t try to get rid of neediness, fear or insecurity.

Why I try not to get rid of neediness, fear or insecurity. And why you shouldn't too.

And why you shouldn’t too. When I am going through processes of growth, some days are better than others. On good days it’s often not so difficult to love myself. But when days are tougher, and I feel a longing for connection with, or approval from others. I feel needy, afraid and insecure. On top of that i feel judgment: i shouldn’t feel like this. i should be beyond this, I’ve dealt with this. I want to get rid of what I feel. That’s the most counterproductive strategy of dealing with what is going on inside me. I this video I share, on a tough day, how I deal with myself. Please follow and like us:

Continue reading

How a detox can increase food addiction

Food addiction

I have been experimenting with nutritional supplements and doing a detox over the last weeks. One of my intentions for doing this detox, was breaking with my eating addictions. I hoped that staying away from sugar, wheat (carbs altogether) and fat for 21 days would rewire my brain into an addictive free, relaxed state. Partly it did. The cravings were still there, but they felt soft and I could handle them well most of the time. I knew I wouldn’t give into them, as I promised myself to fulfill these 21 days. But towards day 21, cravings increased. My mind found openings and options inside the challenge where I could give into the cravings. I had a conscious and very…

Continue reading

  • Have your best holiday EVER!

    Everyday Tantra Amsterdam